Giving to Get:

What Training Has Taught Me

When most people walk into the gym or step onto the mat, they come in with one question in mind:

What am I going to get out of this?

Strength. Skill. Progress. Confidence. That’s normal — it’s part of why we train. But over time, I’ve learned that real growth doesn’t start with what you expect to receive. It starts with what you’re willing to give.

You give energy, and in time you get progress.

You give attention to technique, and your body starts to move differently.

You give respect to the people around you, and in return you build trust and community.

This mindset isn’t easy — even for me

I want to be honest about something: I still struggle with this idea.

There are days I walk in feeling tired, distracted, or impatient. I want the session to go perfectly. I want everyone to learn fast. I want results without the grind. And when things don’t go the way I planned, I catch myself slipping back into that mindset of *getting* instead of *giving.*

But every time I slow down and give what I can — even if it’s not 100% — things change.

I leave feeling better. My students grow more. The room becomes lighter.

That doesn’t happen because everything was perfect.

It happens because I chose to give instead of waiting to receive.

Training is a two-way street

In martial arts, conditioning, or any kind of fitness, the people around you reflect the attitude you bring. If you give effort, they’ll push harder. If you give patience, they’ll feel safe enough to learn. When you share knowledge — even a small tip — you strengthen your own understanding.

We’ve all seen the opposite: someone who only takes. They roll too hard. They don’t listen. They want to “win” every round. They get frustrated when things don’t go their way. They might get short-term success, but they never build the foundation that lasts.

Giving builds community

No one climbs alone. Not in BJJ, not in kickboxing, not in life.

Every belt rank, every milestone, every new skill is touched by the hands of many people—training partners, coaches, friends, even the person who shows up early to clean the mats.

When you train with the intention to give — encouragement, effort, patience, respect — you create an environment where everyone gets better. You become the kind of person people want to train with, not just someone who knows a few moves.

The part people forget

When you stop chasing the rewards and start investing in the work, the results show up faster.

You don’t notice it at first. Your breath gets steadier. Your timing improves. Your confidence sneaks in quietly, without asking permission. Your body and mindset change before you even realize it’s happening.

Giving to get isn’t about ignoring your goals — it’s about shifting your approach.

It’s about aligning your actions with who you want to become.

So next time you step onto the mat or into the gym, don’t just ask:

What do I want today?

Ask yourself:

“What am I willing to give?”

Because whatever you give — effort, focus, humility, compassion — will eventually come back to you… stronger.

Coach James